Monday, April 29, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
These Streets
These streets.
They have been here for as long as I have known. Some still unaffected by the tide of time. Criss crossing the city like veins and arteries. They are my veins and arteries.
I have walked on these streets millions of time, yet never had the same journey. They are as old as my ancestors memories. For long I have known them, for long they have been there, always leading me to the same places on different worlds. Sometimes luring us to play tag, sometimes calling us to chase the ice cream man, sometimes leading us home.
Yet, something has changed.
Perhaps not the streets, perhaps my perception.
The streets reeked of memories.
Passages to the past.
They weren't always like this. they used to be taken for granted. They used to just be. But now they seem just too intimate, almost like guardians, always assuring me I am gonna end up somewhere familiar.
The streets I've always known, but never saw. Their sides change, from trees to brick, brick by brick they get renewed. And so does the cities.As the last traces of childhood and innocense are wiped out, these streets remain. Always leading me somewhere.
The streets.
The veins and arteries.
They are my veins and arteries.
They have been here for as long as I have known. Some still unaffected by the tide of time. Criss crossing the city like veins and arteries. They are my veins and arteries.
I have walked on these streets millions of time, yet never had the same journey. They are as old as my ancestors memories. For long I have known them, for long they have been there, always leading me to the same places on different worlds. Sometimes luring us to play tag, sometimes calling us to chase the ice cream man, sometimes leading us home.
Yet, something has changed.
Perhaps not the streets, perhaps my perception.
The streets reeked of memories.
Passages to the past.
They weren't always like this. they used to be taken for granted. They used to just be. But now they seem just too intimate, almost like guardians, always assuring me I am gonna end up somewhere familiar.
The streets I've always known, but never saw. Their sides change, from trees to brick, brick by brick they get renewed. And so does the cities.As the last traces of childhood and innocense are wiped out, these streets remain. Always leading me somewhere.
The streets.
The veins and arteries.
They are my veins and arteries.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Homesick
For the past few days I've been feeling REALLY REALLY homesick and depressed.
So I was looking up homesickness on the web and came across some insights.
There were mental and physical symptoms and according to that I'm severely homesick.
Symptoms:
Headache? check.
Nausea? check.Hair loss? check.
Weight loss? check.
Vomiting? Not yet.
Stomach ulcers? Not yet.
Diarrhea? Not yet.
Muscular cramps? check.
Muscular tension? check.
Suicidal thoughts? check(surprisingly)
Yupp, I'm severely homesick.
and yeah, the suicide bit is also true. I even went as far to look up "suicide methods" in wikipedia.
I don't know how long this will last. I cant work, concentrate or do anything. I miss everything so much I've been crying for the last few days. Then when I phone back home, it makes me cry even more because I cant tell them.
I've practically limited myself to the extent of this room.
I feel so lonely and helpless.
The things I'd give to be home right now, seated before my mother while she rubs oil on my messy hair.
To be with my family, with my friends, and all that used.
I guess times like this make you realize how much you love certain things and how tightly you want to hold on.
Ammu, I love you.
Missing you so badly.
And I think my friends already know how much I love them.
The only consolation, the websites say its a temporary phase.
P.S: I am not a girl having menstrual mood swings.
So I was looking up homesickness on the web and came across some insights.
There were mental and physical symptoms and according to that I'm severely homesick.
Loss of confidence? check.
Depressive thoughts? check.
Frequent mood swings? check.
Unexplainable pain? check.
Sense of insecurity? check.
Living in isolation? check.
Lack of appetite? check
Depressive thoughts? check.
Frequent mood swings? check.
Unexplainable pain? check.
Sense of insecurity? check.
Living in isolation? check.
Lack of appetite? check
Symptoms:
Headache? check.
Nausea? check.Hair loss? check.
Weight loss? check.
Vomiting? Not yet.
Stomach ulcers? Not yet.
Diarrhea? Not yet.
Muscular cramps? check.
Muscular tension? check.
Suicidal thoughts? check(surprisingly)
Yupp, I'm severely homesick.
and yeah, the suicide bit is also true. I even went as far to look up "suicide methods" in wikipedia.
 |
| This is me right now |
 |
| And this is my life cycle. |
I don't know how long this will last. I cant work, concentrate or do anything. I miss everything so much I've been crying for the last few days. Then when I phone back home, it makes me cry even more because I cant tell them.
I've practically limited myself to the extent of this room.
I feel so lonely and helpless.
 |
| Me with Ammu |
The things I'd give to be home right now, seated before my mother while she rubs oil on my messy hair.
To be with my family, with my friends, and all that used.
I guess times like this make you realize how much you love certain things and how tightly you want to hold on.
Ammu, I love you.
Missing you so badly.
And I think my friends already know how much I love them.
The only consolation, the websites say its a temporary phase.
P.S: I am not a girl having menstrual mood swings.
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